“There’s no point shouting for help

no one can hear you”

the words follow me through a lifetime

and leave me always

struggling alone

I believed them then

so that they burrowed

into the very heart of me

and left no room for disbelief.

I cannot shout for help now

no one will hear me

and my unanswered cry

will be worse

than anything

they can do to me.

 

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5 thoughts on “Isolation

  1. This is so very, very sad! I can relate to you. I have often said that I have been harmed almost as much by those who have either harmed me further after being abused or have just not been there for me (and sometimes it feels worse than). The utter silence of others can be deafening to the soul. It is impossible to feel loved or valued when you feel like this. There is nothing wrong with you… you are not alone. I heard the cry of your heart through your words! I must say feeling utterly alone is one of the worse feelings a human being can experience. We are not meant to walk through life alone. I hope having your blog is helping you and getting you through until your blessings show up in your life!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you very much for your kind reply and for sharing your own experiences. It helps a lot to know that other people understand how I feel although I am so sad that they also have these experiences.
      I was abused as a teenager by a psychiatrist who was meant to be looking after me, I still don’t know the full extent of what he did and I also was with a therapist who had become very unsafe after a personal bereavement. It took me two years to leave her and a lot of damage was done in that time. It has been very difficult to trust a therapist again but I am glad that I tried again.
      Those kind of experiences do leave you feeling like it is safer to go it alone.
      I am loving having a blog. It has enabled me to express many things that I don’t usually and I am also meeting some amazing people from all walks of life. I look forward to coming and reading every day, I feel a lot less isolated reading blogs of other survivors and relating to their experiences.

      Liked by 1 person

      • This makes me so very sad for you. It does mean a lot that you shared these experiences. Trusting again has been causing me a great deal of anxiety… and the difficulty finding someone hasn’t helped any. I am glad you too tried again. This kind of abuse really makes you feel extremely isolated for many reasons. The difficulty trying to get away is even hard for us to understand. It is frightening to know others may not. I hope you will not hesitate to reach out to me if you need to. Hugs!

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