Night walking

Black fog drifts gently around me
as I walk the endless night
My feet plod a steady rhythm
on the smooth black tarmac
the only sound to break the stillness.
As long as I keep walking
I feel nothing,
no fear, no pain,
the monotonous march
soothes me
like sleepwalking.
There is nothing to see,
nothing to hear
in this featureless void,
nothing to trigger my senses
into panicked flight.
I stare, unblinking,
at my clockwork feet,
the road a dark river
flowing ceaselessly beneath
their perpetual motion
and I keep walking.

Reading

I sit alone on the sofa
a book open on my lap
my passport to somewhere else
I don’t know where my reality lies
Is it in the bright spring sunshine
outside my window
or is it among the shadows
that fill my mind?
The shadows blot out the sun
like the shadows
of gathering storm clouds
thunder rumbles across an empty plain
where I stumble and crawl
Is it less real
because it is in my mind?
Who can say
which is right
and which is wrong
and so I escape into
someone else’s words
someone else’s
imagined reality.

Some nightmares are real

How quiet are the footsteps
creeping into my room
How gentle the hands
that lift me from my bed
How soft the voices
that hush my frightened cries
How soothing the motion of the car
taking me far from home

So cold the night
so pale the moonlight
on my bare skin
so brutal the torture
inflicted on my tiny body
shattering my mind
into a thousand pieces

How gentle the hands
that wash away the blood
and dress me in my nightgown
How welcome the sleep
given in a glass of bitter potion
I wake alone in my bed
cold and afraid
Go back to sleep little one
it was just a nightmare.

If I should cross into forsaken places…

if-i-should-cross-into-forsaken-places

If I should cross into forsaken places…

….what may I find?

Only the desolate ruins of a bygone life

long abandoned?

Or could there be treasures unknown

waiting in the dark places,

left behind and lost

when I ran from the memories,

when I chose the mists of oblivion?

One foot on the bridge

spanning the lies I told myself

to escape remembering,

I search within for the courage

I know I must have had to survive.

To go forward into the past,

to search and discover,

or to hide forever from myself

in a groundless future?