The fall

Heel to toe, heel to toe
arms outstretched
carefully treading
the edge of the precipice
To one side, normality,
lies and false smiles
and hiding
To the other, the fall
into total darkness
I should be afraid
but instead
I long for the fall,
the need is so strong
Insanity waits for me
at the bottom of the abyss
What is madness
but a letting go
of all the pretences,
a laying bare the pain
for all to see
I am so tired
of defending myself
from those who only glimpse
and want to erase
my dis-ease
with pills and platitudes.
They tell themselves
they help people
but they cannot look
at the mirror of
anyone else’s pain
in case it reflects their own.
My truth is pain and fear
screams and bad dreams,
shame and hate.
Look at me if you will
and see that I am
just like you.
Come fall with me
and embrace my madness.
In the world of the sane
I am alone.

Winter storm

winter-storm

The wind whips around me

in ceaseless motion

dizzying, never still,

rising with the storm

to an agonised howl

My tangled thoughts whirl

and in my eyes my tears

have turned to ice,

hard as stone

I long for peace

I long for this tormented night to end

I breathe through the pain

into a place of stillness

deep in my soul

I close my eyes,

slow my breath,

and cling to the hope

that spring will come again.

 

Tenderly

tenderly

She doesn’t ask for gratitude

she doesn’t ask for recognition

she bears all our sorrow

so tenderly

with no harsh word

of blame or judgement

she wipes away our childish tears

and hushes our weeping

with a gentle touch

she carries each of us

in her heart

knowing our pain

and weakness

reaching a hand

to steady us

when we stumble

loving our vulnerability

while we sleep

she gathers the tears

from our lashes

to wash the hate

from our souls

so that one day

we too may fly.